At the end of December, I started praying a little about fasting in January. When the New Year began, I knew what I needed to give up: sugar. Talk about a tough experience! This sugar addict was humbled at how often I longed for a brownie or some candy.
At the same time, God began dealing with me about another addiction. I started listening to an audiobook about breaking up with your phone ("How to break up with your phone"). Over and over, I felt convicted by this secular book. I wasted hours every week just mindlessly scrolling on Facebook. Honestly, almost every waking hour, I was checking my phone, mainly to see if anyone had liked my latest pictures... I felt silly. But I also felt in bondage. It truly was a spiritual problem and God revealed that to me.
As January drew to an end, God made it clear that fasting from sugar was just the beginning. He called me to delete Facebook.
Now, I have to be honest, after my initial shock and anguish about that, my next issue was that deleting Facebook meant losing messenger as well. I communicate with many friends and family members using messenger. So, losing it would be a major re-arranging. I took some time and carefully prayed about this. After some time, I cautiously kept messenger but deactivated my Facebook account. I told my husband so he could keep me accountable. And now, on this blog, I'm announcing it to whoever may come across this post. Deactivating means I am not just logged out; I am no longer visible on Facebook as far as I know. I have decided to keep it this way-for now. I don't want to be half-hearted in my obedience, so if I need to 100% delete it and lose messenger in the process, so be it.
Here is what I have learned from this experience. First, Facebook offers a fake version of relationships. Let me explain. When I was checking it dozens of times a day, I was not (usually) looking up a specific friend, asking her what was going on in her life, or deliberately reaching out in any way. The main reason I ever contacted a friend on Facebook was if he or she posted something about their life. Then, and only then, I would reach out. "Your family is beautiful!" Wow, what a fun vacation!" "I'm so sorry for your loss". "Happy birthday!" You see, Facebook took the work off of my shoulders to be a good friend. I did not have to be an active friend. I just had to react. I have seen this in reverse now. Not a single Facebook friend has reached out and said, "I miss seeing you on Facebook!" And why would they? I would never have even noticed if a Facebook friend suddenly disappeared. I was too busy scrolling nonstop or posting about my own life to really pay attention. Facebook truly cultivates fake relationships.
Before I go on, let me add, there are good things about Facebook and most social media! I enjoyed seeing family photos. It was helpful learning about someone's loss, so I knew what to pray. I loved testifying about God's goodness to my 700 plus "friends". But for me, I know there is something better.
Which brings me to the second thing this experience has taught me: deeper connections are hard work! Without the shortcuts that social media offered, I have to put in more effort to be a friend. But isn't that a good thing? Friendships are supposed to take effort.
Third, I am learning to pray about who to reach out to. God has faithfully brought loved ones to mind. Again and again, I've thought of someone and I have sent them a text or message. Some were people I probably would not have even thought of. But without the clutter of endless scrolling, my mind was freer to ponder others and their needs. It sounds contradictory, but I have found that without Facebook, I am connecting better to friends.
Finally, I'll share this lesson. Life without Facebook has taught me that God created each day as a gift and I was wasting it on social media. I whined that I had no time. Sometimes, that was true. After all, I have a husband, a baby, a third grader, two dogs, piano students, schoolwork to do, and a home to maintain. Yet, without the daily need to check my social media feed, I am finding time to read for fun sometimes, to take walks, to bake occasionally (yes I am eating sugar again..in moderation.), and to talk on the phone to family.
Do I miss Facebook? Yes, I do. But I don't want it back. My word for 2026 was Connection. I am finding that without the tool that I hid behind to connect me to others, I am truly free to actually build lasting connections with God, and with loved ones. That is worth more than all the Facebook likes ever.
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